Without respect, there is no love; without communication, there is no relationship.

Comforting a good friend of mine on the phone was not how I envisioned my Friday night ending.

THE PROBLEM

Needless to say, Quintin knows that he can always count on me for words of advice. Quintin and his girlfriend of nine months had broken up earlier during the day. The break-up ended on a sour note, and he needed to vent his frustrations.

THE INVESTIGATION

Of course, while listening, my inspector ways come out. I have learned throughout life that people try to manipulate his or her versions of stories so that they seem like the good person. And that there is always 3 sides to a story: his, hers, and the truth.

I have concluded that…

The lack of communication on both parties’ ends is the reason that their relationship ended.

He wanted

  •  A fun time
  • To go with the flow
  • To “hang out”
  • To take things slow
  • A committed relationship

She wanted

  • A committed relationship
  • To settle down
  •  Marriage
  • Love
  • Children

THE SOLUTION

From my understanding, Quintin wanted a committed relationship. He just was not ready to take the relationship to the next level: tying the knot.

"If I could go back in time and fix things, I would. We should have had this conversation before jumping into the relationship. I don't even think we will ever be friends again."

“If I could go back in time and fix things, I would. We should have had this conversation before jumping into the relationship. I don’t even think we will even ever be friends again.”
-Quintin Wilson

If they had communicated, what it is that they each wanted to gain out of this relationship from the beginning then it would have never reached this point.

Quintin feels bad about hurting her feelings, he never intended on doing that. And he should, he is partly to blame. On the other hand, she is responsible for letting the relationship go this far and is now being held accountable for her actions: nursing her broken her heart.

According to this article that I read on communicating with your significant other: If you want to communicate better in a relationship, then you have to not only know how to state your ideas but to be able to really listen to your partner. I might add that it is important to know what you are looking for in a relationship.

All of this could have easily been avoided if both parties had communicated each of their goals for this relationship. Quintin’s ex-girlfriend will eventually move on and meet someone who wants the same things that she wants out of life. Nevertheless, she will never get back the time spent with Quintin. Communication helps to avoid wasting time by eliminating confusion and causing clarity.

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2 thoughts on “Without respect, there is no love; without communication, there is no relationship.

  1. My boyfriend always tells me “the key to a relationship is communication”, so I enjoyed reading your post about communication in relationships. Every relationship teaches us something about ourselves. Hopefully Quintin’s ex-girlfriend will take something positive away from this relationship and feel confident that she knows what she wants in a relationship and won’t settle for less than that. As for Quintin hopefully he now knows that he needs to be more upfront with his expectations for relationships so that he and his next girlfriend can be on the same page from day one. People’s feelings and expectations change over the course of a relationship so it is really important to always check in with one another to make sure both parties still feel the same way. Great job inspector!

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but you are right! Communication is a really big part of a relationship, but it seems to be really hard for most our generation during this time in our lives because as much as we knew we should communicate is still seems unachievable. The upside is that we are still young and we still have plenty of times to develop these skills for the future.

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